Resentment, both harmful and helpful, reveals much about emotions. Plutchik identified primary emotions like sadness, joy, surprise, disgust, trust, fear, anticipation, and anger as universally recognized.
He introduced secondary emotions, but resentment doesn't fit this category. These are emotional reactions triggered by our beliefs. For example, some people believe feeling anger says something negative about them, which triggers secondary emotions.
Notably, this emotion tends to be overlooked despite its universal prevalence.
Solutions:
Locate your source.
Consider counselling to address resentment, as it can hide its trustworthy source. Reflect through writing to identify emotional triggers by asking, "Why do I feel this way now? “What caused this emotional response?”
Forgiveness.
It is not about finding excuses for the offending person’s behaviour or pretending it didn’t happen. It comes in the form of empathy for ourselves, and reassessing our expectations can counteract false beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" or "I don't deserve love."
Embrace Vulnerability
Resentment often provides a misleading sense of power or control in a situation or over someone. It can serve as a subconscious defence mechanism, protecting us from possible future harm. To combat this, it can be helpful to have open discussions or write about your mistakes, share personal insights, and clearly express your needs in relationships.
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